A deceptive test to make people believe they are a conspiracy theorist

 

A few months ago I came across this "test" (which I found to be laughable when I saw it) to help a person tell a conspiracy theorist or not.

I have some things to say about this "test" and some comments about "questions" that were asked (well, they're not really questions) as well as a few questions of my own:

You are capable of critical thinking.

This is a paradox. If a conspiracy theorist was capable of critical thinking, then they wouldn't be a conspiracy theorist because people who are capable of critical thinking would figure out that a conspiracy theory was BS.

You distrust mainstream media.

So do most skeptics, although for entirely different reasons than conspiracy theorists do.

You like nature.

Lots of people do. What does this have to do with being a conspiracy theorist?

You think it’s a good idea to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving with your family rather than camping outside Best Buy to get a cheap plasma television made in China.

That doesn't make you a conspiracy theorist. That makes you someone who is smart enough not to waste their time in the cold waiting for some store to open in the hope of finding bargains.

You think it’s a little strange that WTC building 7 came down at free fall speed on 9/11 yet it was never hit by a plane.

This might make you a conspiracy theorist, as well as someone who has conveniently forgotten that WTC7 was hit by something... a skyscraper.

You think that drones in America might not be for Al Qaeda.

This might also make you a conspiracy theorist... or it might make you someone who knows drones that fly over America are also used for multiple benign purposes.

You would like to be able to get on a plane without having to engage in a mandatory radiation bath and digital strip search.

As do many Americans, especially those who have gone through that process.

You have read a book in the past year.

What does reading a book have to do with being a conspiracy theorist?

You think you have the right to protest.

According to the first Amendment I don't think I have the right, I have the right, period!

You think the War on Terror is a scam.

That depends on what your definition of "scam" is.

You think the War on Drugs is a scam.

Again, that depends on what your definition of "scam" is. Does your definition mean completely bogus and fraudulent, or wasteful and unnecessary?

You think the anger directed at America from the Middle East could possibly be related to our foreign policy rather than hating how amazingly free we are.

This just means you've done more than five minutes worth of research about the Middle East.

You think the Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same on the important issues affecting our country.

This could mean you're a conspiracy theorist... it could also mean that you're a Libertarian, or you're just ticked off at both political parties.

You think believing in The Constitution does not constitute a terrorist act.

Who the Hell believes that believing in the constitution is a terrorist act? The only people who believe that are idiots!

You have heard of the Bill of Rights and can even name what some of them are.

As most Americans have and can...

You question whether the government loves you.

The government is not a living entity. It neither loves nor hates, therefore it is pointless to ask if it loves you or not.

You think the right to bear arms is not for hunting, rather so citizens can fight back should the government become a bunch of tyrannical thugs.

Yeah, this could mean that you're a conspiracy theorist... it could also mean that you just don't like the government, or you're afraid that the United States "could" become a tyrannical dictatorship.

You don’t own a television, and if you do, all you watch is RT, especially the Keiser Report and Capital Account.

(Reading that alone makes me wonder if this is satire) If all you watch on television is RT (Russia Today) then there is no need to finish this test. You are a conspiracy theorist.

You don’t think the NDAA is the name of Kesha’s latest single.

Who's Kesha?

You think rich, powerful and connected people should be subject to the rule of law and go to jail if they commit crimes. Even if they are bankers and work at JP Morgan or Goldman Sachs.

I'm sure that Bernie Madoff would disagree.

You think corporations aren’t people.

As do most other Americans.

You think Warren Buffet is a phony and a crony capitalist.

This could make you a conspiracy theorist. This could also make you a socialist, some one who doesn't like the rich, or someone who doesn't like Warren Buffet.

You don’t care that Warren Buffet likes cherry coke, hamburgers and ice cream.  He’s still a bad guy.

What does what he likes to eat has to do with him being a bad person or not?

You know that gold was made illegal by FDR in 1933 and confiscated from the American people.  You know that gold bullion remained illegal for Americans to own until 1975.

So American history experts are now considered to be conspiracy theorists?

You think politicians that push for war should be sent to fight on the front lines.  If they are unable, their children should go.

Lots of people think this. It might mean that you're a conspiracy theorist, or it could mean that you're someone that is against war and feels that the ones who start them should be the ones who fight them.

You want your food to be labeled GMO so that you can make your own decisions on what you are consuming.

This could mean you're a conspiracy theorist, or it could meant that you're a health fanatic whom has been lead to believe that GMO foods are bad for you.

You grow your own food.

Lots of people do that. This has nothing to do with being a conspiracy theorist.

You buy raw milk.

You could be a conspiracy theorist, or much like with GMO foods, you could also be a health fanatic who believes that raw milk is better for you than pasteurized milk (the exact opposite is true).

You think food and energy should be included in inflation calculations.

I'm sure most economist would agree with this.

You are aware that the Department of Homeland Security has purchased 1.2 billion rounds of ammo in the past year.

A lot of people are aware of this. A lot of people are also aware that this is just another example of bureaucratic waste.

You question whether said ammo purchases are in anticipation of a Normandy beach style landing by Al Qaeda.

I'm sure if you believe that is the official explanation for why so much ammo was bought (instead of the real official explanation in that it was a good deal on the price it was being bought at) then you're probably a conspiracy theorist.

You think allowing a small group of unelected people (The Federal Reserve) to print unlimited amounts of money and distribute it as they please might not be a good idea.

I might be a conspiracy theorist if I thought this way too about the Federal Reserve, and I would think this way if it wasn't for the fact that members of the Federal Reserve board have to be confirmed by the Senate first before they can take office, and the fact that the Federal Reserve is not incharge of printing money (the Department of Treasury does that).

Now the final part of this "test" says this:

If you answered yes to more than five of the above, you might be a conspiracy theorist.
You also may be on the government’s terror watch list.  Be very alarmed and report it to the authorities immediately should you discover your neighbors engaged in such uncivilized thought.

I answered yes to 19 of them. I'm definitely not a conspiracy theorist, and I'm almost certain I'm not on any terrorist watch list.

This test is extremely deceptive, and is meant to make the average person believe that they are a conspiracy theorist by throwing in a bunch of mundane questions that almost every American would answer yes to, and enough of them that it would be nearly impossible for anyone not to answer yes to atleast five. Heck, most of these questions have nothing to do with being a conspiracy theorist, and should not have been on there.

Being a conspiracy theorist has nothing to do with growing your own food or having no trust in the government. It has everything to do with whether or not you believe in conspiracy theories.